Desmond and The Tutus launch MNUSIC

Arcade Empire, Pretoria’s best live gig hangout, is moving to a bigger and better venue come July and will be closing on a massive high with Desmond and The Tutus celebrating the launch of their brand-spanking-new album “MNUSIC” on Saturday 30 June. Desmond has been a favourite of mine for some time.

Their tunes are vibey, energetic, humourous and catchy. They are still my band to beat when it comes to live performances and they breathe an easy-going presence while a lot of other bands reek of arrogance  in their walk up to fame. For them, its about having a good time, making great songs and giving audiences performances they’ll always remember.

If you are a Desmond ‘Live’ virgin, I feel for you. There is nothing more fantastical then singing the old favourites, cracking The German Modern and dancing like you’ve had Red Bull zapped into your wrist. They bring fun back into rock. Just visit their website (www.desmondandthetutus.co.za) and you’ll get a laugh out of their ‘penis enlargment-sangoma-type’ pages. On their Facebook page, their profile picture pokes a little fun at another South African band (see below)

Take a listen to their stuff and be AMA-zinged and check them out live if you have the chance. You won’t regret it:

Some older hits:

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When I was a kid…

I’m almost 23 and I’m starting to feel old. I’m also looking back at my childhood with the fondest memories. My little cousins are Xbox-ing, watching shows on The Disney Channel that aren’t cartoons and are easily browsing cell phones and maneuvering touch screen gadgets.

It’s changed. My childhood was full of new-bit techno gadgets, old Nintendo, computers that were bulky and grey, Nokia phones that only had Snake as entertainment and Walkmans that skipped the tune when the car went over a speed bump. Pokemon, tazos, cassette mixes, Sketchers and boy bands.


I remember old video tapes we had lying around of The Lion King and my dad used to record Springbok games on the video tape, accidentally recording over a movie my mom wanted to watch. Today, we can pause live TV and record gigabytes full of series and movies. I’ve also realised that I haven’t bought a CD for ages. I have friends who share music and its easily available on the internet. I remember saving up for ‘Now 25’ and ‘Bump’. I used to listen to CD’s while I played with my tamagotchi so I could feel great about keeping my digital dog alive for another day. It was all Backstreet Boys, N’Sync, Westlife, Eminem, Britney, Blink 182, The Beastie Boys and Nirvana.

I know I might still be ‘youthful’, but things have certainly changed. Saturday morning cartoons on Nickelodeon have changed to Hannah Montana goo. Johnny Bravo is now seen as ‘classical’ cartoons. Early Hanna-Barbera cartoons fall out to real-life high school drama on The Disney Channel. MTV has dwindled on music countdowns and videos. Instead, they drive home  Jerseyshore and Teen Mom.

One day, we’ll tell our kids about iPods and PVR and they’ll probably chuckle while they push a button for 4D live shows and instant pizza pills. Times change far too quickly.

Surely some of these pics will send you back and make you feel old:

Time Warp: Rock out for this

Not long ago I made a post on the movies you need to see before you die. And I missed the mark by not mentioning The Rocky Horror Picture Show. The 1975 film rocked the world with its risqué scenes, sexploits and boogie tunes that never leaves your head. The rock musical stage play is a parody of B-movie, science fiction and horror films of the late 1940s through early 1970s and gives audiences humour, romance and intrigue. I remember watching the play at The Barnyard Theatre on my sixteenth birthday party. Maybe I was innocent but I didn’t shy away from time-warping and laughing at the awkwardness, ripped abs and cheesy tunes.

 Brad Majors (Barry Bostwick) and Janet Weiss(Susan Sarandon) find themselves lost and with a flat tire on a cold and rainy late November evening. Seeking a phone, Brad and Janet discover a group of strange and eccentric people who are holding an Annual Transylvanian Convention. They soon meet Dr. Frank N. Furter (Tim Curry), a self-proclaimed “Sweet Transvestite” from Transsexual,Transylvania. We meet Frank N Furter’s delectable creation Rocky, handyman Riff Raff and rebel Eddie. It’s quite bonkers, a luscious freak show that has stamped the film as a cult classic. It’s a movie you cannot go without. In its release, it brought audiences to a standstill. There was nothing like it: an exploration of rebellion and revolution; youth and romance.

 Check this out. You’ll recognise the songs.

HOW TO DO THE TIME-WARP (Agaaaaaaain)

Avastar EverZef

Theme: over the top. A flash of neon everything, sickly sweet cocktails and gel people.
Rivonia has got a new embarrassing asset in Avastar Night Club.

Agggh, flames! Lazer in my eyes!

Instead of the blue creatures James Cameron brought us, AvaZef will take you to a magical world where glow sticks
and semi-nakedness reigns. Vegas-inspired neon mind-blowing zef.

Can this be any more zef-ball?

Anyway, it could be popular for those who want to klap the beats hard bru.

Wait is that Snooki?

Johnny Depp single…so come to Africa

Johnny Depp has separated from his partner of 14 years, French singer and actress Vanessa Paradis.

A-list love can’t last in plumped up Hollywood. Perhaps Johnny will be his seclusive self and find a home in South Africa.

Women everywhere celebrate and quietly ponder their Depp meeting. We can only dream.

Johnny: I’ve decided…

Me: Are you-

Johnny: Johnny Depp

Me: You’re here…

Johnny: Africa is where I belong but I’m afraid

Me: Lions stay behind fences…

Johnny: No, no. I mean…I am alone

Me: I read in Heat mag…I’m…sorry?

Johnny: Don’t be…it’s part of the plan

Me: Tim Burton’s plan?

Johnny: …..

Me: Burton in Africa…really?

Johnny: I will play a sangoma

Me: be a pirate!

Johnny: I’ve done that before. I never play the same roles…

Me: Alrighty… Helen Bonham Carter will play your wife. Sangoma love.

Johnny:…genius …I knew there was a reason I came here.

Me: Oh gosh thanks I-

Johnny: I love Tim…

 

 

Smile, it’s photo day!

I’m glad I looked relatively okay in my high school yearbook (mostly because we didn’t take individual pictures). In a school of around 1500 girls, I’d say it was a logical explanation that ‘photo day’ meant we’d be posing along with 100 others. So, when I spotted myself in the yearbook, I was a tiny smiling head of happiness. I was either in a group of a few girls holding hockey sticks or my class, smiling and posing and hoping your eyes weren’t closed. In primary school, I was relatively cute enough with getting away with individual snapshots. I had the freckles, the hair and the cheesy grin down.

Apart from that, I relatively like to take photos, not be a part of ‘the captured minions’. I feel like I hold some sort of unequaled power with a camera in my hand. I feel important and people look at you like you have a small alligator.  That’s right…run away.

For many, it’s not as easy posing. I hate it. It’s unordered and fake and I feel like those school ‘photo day’ photographers (usually with 80’s taches and flowered shirts) push you to make an ordered line so they frame can be perfect. There’s nothing great about a bunch of people waiting for the flash.

Photographer man at picture day

 

For some, yearbooks can be your greatest downfall. Years from now, your friends and once-upon-a-time crushes will look at your photo and say “At least I don’t look like that” or “At least I didn’t get with that”.

 

I’m exceptionally grateful I didn’t live two decades ago. Despite my great love for 80’s music, the hair is beyond comprehension.

Also, what do you do in an individual photograph? Do you sit straight? Where do you put your hands? Do you flash some pearly whites? Which is your better side? (everyone has a better side) and where do I look? In the lens? At your friend in the queue up next? (which can result in having a laughing photo). Whatever you do remember to hide the evidence because it will usually turn up on your mom’s coffee table of your birthday party. Be prepared.

The pose.

 

Let’s be different with this shot!

Poor soul

You’re in the school band…do you really need more teenage plight?

 

Bring props

 

 

The look in the sky gaze. Classic.

 

Be special for mom

 

Swag nerd.

Surprise!

Purple glaze: Pretoria

 Purple glaze

Soggy streets

The lightning flash

The shudder

Picket fences

Booms

Sunnyside without the sun

Sky buildings below

Women sell their legs

 

Voortrekker steps

Steps

Steps

Still steps

To those before us

 

The boy on Atterbury shaking in shorts

The student who pops

Hatfield’s fanatical

Die manne wat rugby kyk

Loftus se blou blou hart

Scrum boeta!

 

The dancefloor’s illegal

As they swing around

swig the cane train

Shudder

Across the road, robots swap

Police on the trail

Midnight meals

Burnett is burnt

In high-rise cheques

And morning regrets

Shudder on the railway tracks

 

The old

Set in the dingy

The president’s place

With men who have no faces

Guns and get out

The helicopter garage

The parks rich in green

Tanned in June’s rime

The statues that tell of beginnings

Politician palace

Embassy entourage

 

The little blazers

of four-squared schools that march

the derby days

the chugging buses

the snag

 

The malls glitz

The Kolannade’s swift

Cars with lights, wheels with stones

The Sunday flea market bargains

The church-goers

The sinners who collect Friday nights

Afrikaans se plek

Engels everywhere

The rock, the smoking rock

The dance of the night

N1 buzzing through hell

Adverts that sell you

Die FM wat kook

 

Streets we name by their old names

The zoo’s circling happiness

THE CAPITOL

The paint

A zoom zoom with the train

Phuza

 

Menlyn movies

Square is juvenile

Tiger Tiger roars

Ty’s cries with heels

Arcadebounces off rocksters

Brooklyn’s coffee and cake

Aandklas’ se ou Queen en Marley hits

Duncan’s high eats

The gardens sparkle

The ponds with the nannies

The putt-putt caves

 

Purple glaze

In the capitol’s rays

 

Movies to kill bunnies for (part 2)

Pearl Harbour

Eye candy, sunsets and bullets. This 2001 classic follows the story of Danny and Rafe, their lives as soldiers and falling for the same girl (the lovely Kate Beckinsale who plays Evelyn).MichaelBayhits hard at getting personal with history and making us sob away. Its heartbreaking, gut-wrenching and full of explosions, kissing and dirty soldiers fighting for the good ol’USA. We’ll forgive Bay for the movie’s mishaps when it comes to historic fact. It’s a tear-jerker and a lovely one at that.

 

Edward Scissorhands

Johnny Depp’s offbeat characters are masterful and Edward Scissorhands is no exception. This goes back two decades ago and will leave you more in love with Johnny than ever. Johnny plays Edward who just happens to have scissors for hands. There is fantasy, humour and romance. It’sBurtonmagic like we’ve come to know. Edward is an unfinished creation who falls for Winona Ryder’s character. He knows only innocence andWinonasees Edward’s beauty.

 

Pulp Fiction

 

It’s Tarantino cool. It’s a mix of four tales of violence and redemption. Two mob hit men, a boxer, a gangster’s wife, and a pair of diner bandits and eclectic dialogue that will keep you at the edge of your seat. Tarantino’s crazy storylines and dark sense of humour makes it a must-see. Samuel L. Jackson and Travolta with guns, a mysterious briefcase and punchy one-liners. Classic.

 

Lion King

If you haven’t seen Lion King your life is sad. If I am a mommy one day, I’ll make sure my kids see it. If you don’t know (shun), it follows the story of a young lion Simba, his uncle Scar’s evil pursuit of the crown from Simba’s father Mufasa and all the courage, humour and catchy sing-alongs to keep you riveted and crying. It’s magical, encouraging and heart felt. Hakuna Matata and all!

 

Titanic

Leo in all his bright-eyed innocence and Kate in all her magnificence and elegance. James Cameron, bow down. It’s epic, larger-than-life and a historic classic. It’s filled with that damn iceberg, crazy love scenes, sketching, jealousy, heroics and heartbreak. Titanic is one of those movies you could watch over and over again. Cameron’s attention to detail is amazing and Leo’s cute third-class romantic is hypnotizing. You will shudder at the history and pursuit of reckless abandon. Your heart will go on!