Johnny Depp single…so come to Africa

Johnny Depp has separated from his partner of 14 years, French singer and actress Vanessa Paradis.

A-list love can’t last in plumped up Hollywood. Perhaps Johnny will be his seclusive self and find a home in South Africa.

Women everywhere celebrate and quietly ponder their Depp meeting. We can only dream.

Johnny: I’ve decided…

Me: Are you-

Johnny: Johnny Depp

Me: You’re here…

Johnny: Africa is where I belong but I’m afraid

Me: Lions stay behind fences…

Johnny: No, no. I mean…I am alone

Me: I read in Heat mag…I’m…sorry?

Johnny: Don’t be…it’s part of the plan

Me: Tim Burton’s plan?

Johnny: …..

Me: Burton in Africa…really?

Johnny: I will play a sangoma

Me: be a pirate!

Johnny: I’ve done that before. I never play the same roles…

Me: Alrighty… Helen Bonham Carter will play your wife. Sangoma love.

Johnny:…genius …I knew there was a reason I came here.

Me: Oh gosh thanks I-

Johnny: I love Tim…

 

 

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