Don’t worry, be happy.

Bob Marley might not have worried and maybe he was happy. He seemed that way cause he sang that way.

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It seems simple enough, doesn’t it? The advice we give others we so rarely adapt ourselves. We all seem perplexed with anxiety and worry and its usually about things that are beyond our control. And there’s a pessimism about Life, too – that things will go wrong, that what’s-his-face might not like you or that bad things will happen. We over-think things and create these imperfect scenarios of disaster instead of just sitting back and watching what transpires – whether bright and shiny or disastrous. In the mindset of worrying, we lose the time to really live, though. There’s an intentional hope that things will work out in the future instead of living our present to make our future work. Maybe it will, maybe it won’t. That’s just what we humans must live through instead of thinking the implausible.

I know, I’m confused, too.

There are many times before a night out that I worry what I’ll feel like in the morning. But that’s a youthful, naive, fun kind of worry that is so often overlooked. In other times, we worry about what will happen tomorrow, worry about friends who aren’t there, worry about the pay cheque that’s not guaranteed or worried that we’ll die alone and build forts with our troop of cats.

Is it called a troop of cats?

Anyway, it’s a human condition we should get rid of before we can actually enjoy the unpredictability of Life. We will always worry about what others think. We will always worry about our health, what will happen if we don’t do this and that. Sometimes things will just fall into place like they’re supposed to and maybe it’s alright to worry about what people think – only if those people are people who believe you can live up to more; people who believe that you have the potential for so much more and that worrying is getting in the way of that. The other people? You don’t need to occupy your mind with them. They have their worries and they will judge to gather some sort of happiness in themselves. We are suckers for disaster in our lives. Everyone directs scenes in their heads about the worst things happening. What if. What if. What if.

Happiness is a complete state of mind – so is Worry, so is Destruction. If our immaculate scenes do play out like we envision, your path might make it like that. If you smile, the body responds, doesn’t it? Even if we force a smile, the rest of the body stands up and the smile becomes more of a natural occurrence. We can trick ourselves into not worrying and staying positive. The roller coaster has a destination and journey that we can either enjoy or fear for vomiting all over ourselves. It’s up to you.

 

To be Kind

There’s this thing I carry around with me. Some people think it denotes you to being a scrummy, over-used doormat while others redeem it other-worldly. Mostly, because today it’s a rarity that belongs in TCM flicks and old ladies who bake cookies for strangers. It’s thought to live in ‘do-gooders’ who are just doing the right thing to get a pat on the back in front of their world stage or get into heaven. Why do good, right?

Kindness.

kindness1It should be a simple human condition but it’s not. When I talk to the car guard, give him some change and wave at him, he seems somewhat perplexed at the gesture. Onlookers might, too. That’s what we’ve come to. “Don’t talk to the car washer” “Don’t chat to the teller” “Why are you so nice?” Some might not know it, but an uncomplicated “How are you?” or smile costs nothing. People learn this in nursery school and plant it in the back of their minds and grow up and reserve a good natured-ness because quite frankly it’s not normal. Some even think it’s a chink in someone’s armour. You’re too soft, they say. But Kindness in itself is both an undertaking and painless deed. Some are so allergic to the idea of being kind that they will set their eyes on the road and walk past a stranger for fear of some awkward confrontation. And the teller at the supermarket is probably having an average day – why not ask her how she is. It’s because us humans are aloof to what others feel. Sometimes a trouble-free compliment feels like its wrapped up tightly in a self-conscious nod and the receiver feels like it’s necessary to be nice back. It’s us humans. We can give something without some sort of expectation, right? Perhaps Kindness in itself is an egotistical avenue – it makes you feel good. And if you are kind, jumpstart someone’s car or pay for someone’s dinner, there’s always an expectation of a ‘thank you’ isn’t there? I know I feel a little hard done by if the person doesn’t acknowledge my help. But we should slowly do away with that thinking. Sometimes we have a subconscious list of people we’ve been nice to, who owes US something. No one owes you anything. You owe everything to yourself to be the best person you can be and give of your character without the round of applause. It’s a difficult thing Kindness. It’s definitely not a trembling weakness. It’s something in the heart that gives so easily. It’s something in the heart that will not still if you walk past someone without saying words to still their troubles.

 

And Kindness is not the great Oscar-winning endeavour. It’s something great you don’t have to boast about. I’m also not kind to get something out of you. This ulterior motive condition is normal because kindness is extraterrestrial, weird and funny.

 

I’m kind because everyone has their own battles to fight. A word doesn’t harm them.