You deserve better

You know how the corny romantic guy in corny romantic movies always says “You deserve better” to the love of his life? Maybe, instead of the corny romantic woman denying that she deserves any better, she accepts the statement wholeheartedly and dumps him for someone better. That hardly makes sense to the world. Maybe, it’s because we regularly allow ourselves to settle for what we have instead of risking it for a better being, job, adventure or once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Everyone will go through the mindless routine of their everyday with a momentary daydream of what their life could be instead. And in this case, you deserve better. In most cases now, maybe all humans do because we all fantasize about a life that revolves around mansions on a sunny island or cruising in a sports car in South America. Everyone dreams about more money, more things and a perfect kind of job and partner.


To be quite blunt, most of us won’t be heading for those aforementioned desires. A good 98% of us will be ticking off some of our life missions but will never think to step over the edge. Yes, maybe the mansions and sports car is aiming a little high. Maybe it’s because we duly accept the way things are at a moment in our lives? We accept a certain level of things and people around us we think we deserve to hold. If a friend suddenly complains about a boyfriend that doesn’t treat her well and spends most nights rubbing down a bottle of tequila and she eventually accepts it as her fate, then what can actually be done about it? People need to realise that they always deserve better. It could be your lowly self-worth playing on your decision-making. You’ll think “But at least I have a job! I guess I should be happy!”. Logical point in this damn economy but it’s not the most promising mindset to carry around with you.

It follows-through in every facet of your life. Suddenly you’ll be giving into things that need not exist in your life. Why bite into the bad blueberry muffin if there’s a fresh, hot, straight-out-the-oven bunch with a free, steaming cup of coffee right there? Silly point but you know what I’m getting at. Perhaps someone’s ‘picky-ness’ of Life should be seen as a little gift – why not be open to the better? Why can’t you accept a sense of living or love-of-your-life that is just better? Don’t sell yourself short. If you have a throbbing inkling that you’re missing out and DO deserve better, you’re probably right. Not many will sacrifice their current lives for their inklings and desires.

If you feel that you deserve a half-hearted friendship or relationship, then that’s you. If you feel like you deserve someone that will jump the globe for you, then your heart is telling you to accept the incredible or at least a friend who makes the effort to see you. It’s kind of up to you. It shouldn’t be a “Well, I’ll see how it goes”. Maybe these “I’ll see how it goes” experiences are there for us to learn from and for us to evaluate our own worth.

Let yours be wondrous.


A quick reminder to adults

Dear Adults,

Stop telling kids what to do when you’re going grey over life and everything in-between  While you book a massage to relax and get away from the stress of your job, kids are getting their feet full of mud and struggling with their straws and what kind of TV show they’re going to watch.

I know, such a crutch.


So adults, while we keep our specific laundry days intact and dream of worlds unknown and desert island adventures, make sure you find your inner child. This does not mean you have to start colouring with your finger or wear Disney shirts. It just means that we’re allowed to have fun and we’re allowed to prolong that playfulness that some lose far too soon. And when you find that fun, don’t let an adult judge you for not being adult enough. There’s no such thing. We might be ‘tied down’ by work, tax and the price of petrol, but that in no way should manufacture your sourness for the world. It should in no way determine your mood about your painful life or your forever thoughts about the ‘good old days’. Those days were good but they should not just stop when you celebrate more birthdays. There can be lots of ‘good old days’ if you live in a positive light. It might be a simple life instruction that many will find hard to live by but it’s definitely not implausible.

What I’m trying to say is: be in wonder. As a child, we are so freakishly alive and aware and happy about simple discoveries that we wake up with a renewed energy to experience everything we can. As ‘adults’, we kind of look past the wonder of an autumn tree or the taste of a freshly baked croissant. We rarely look out the window and just see. We no longer explore. We never ask ‘why’ like we did when we were kids. We are confined to a world that is so adamant that you grow up and become a grown up. It’s hardly a fantastic thing to be in its social context. A grown up sits with the expectation of bills and being stuck in a life, a job, a relationship, a route to work.

As kids, we ask the world why it is like it is.

As adults, we accept over and over again, devoid of the need to learn.

Never stop learning

Never stop experiencing

Never stop seeing

or exploring

or asking “But why?”


“Why not?”

We can still be the ones to pay our tax and live life.

Shooting the Creative

When applying for a job, a creative would put out his or her best attributes – a strong spirit, energy and buoyancy. If you’re a number-cruncher, it’s more about how you can apply your skills. As a creative, your ideas and passion is what could set you apart (despite your experience and application). I’ve come across a lot of people who look down on the creative and deem any ‘creative job’ quite easy – especially the sullen, slow nod one gets when you tell a crowd you studied Journalism and English. Recently I’ve come across a crowd drenched in accountancy and law jargon that makes my brain hurt and the lucky few who have these deemed degrees look on mine as a ‘toy-puppet-plaything’ degree.


There have been some who have expressed their jealousy of a ‘free’ career but others don’t see beyond the amount of figures one can boast. Maybe, it’s just happened to me? Maybe I’m reading too much into the body language of someone who doesn’t understand how images, video, digital and words can make life so much better. We are all walking-talking stereotypes even if we don’t want to believe it. If one comes across a tattooed, torn jeans wearing man in the street, the brain doesn’t really conjure up a “Oh, he’s an accountant.” The same with the typical IT nerd devoid of social skills or the graphic designer with the fashionable specs and newest Apple product.


“You’re tired from work? But you just write and take pictures?”


The creative life – it might not give you the elaborate lifestyle of a business entrepreneur. Okay, it won’t. You might be stuck in that messed up car and average apartment for a while but does it matter in scheme of things? I’ve decided I’d rather be a journalist than lack any amount of enthusiasm in a job I have no interest in – even if the pay check is heavenly. There has been many friends who have studied medicine, law or business without a clear motivation for doing it besides the clothes you can buy. For me, I can live with the Mr.Price clothes and two-minute noodles as long as I can be as free in the work as I can be.


Apologies to the lawyers, doctors and business students or workforce that have a deep passion for their careers. I’m not saying they don’t. I just see the creative as a defenseless pinata of society. When a Bachelor of Arts student says they ‘read for their degree’, its somewhat laughable to the kid who is pouring potions in a lab or a kid in a suit arguing for his or her case. There is always the same response to someone who says “I’m a doctor” – there’s undeniably more respect for his or her craft. Should there be? A medicine man might well be crucial in society but should there be this forever pedestal? As much as I want to gather respect for my chosen career, society won’t listen. Even in each sub-creative field, there is a group that is looked down on. In journalism, that may be the sports, fashion or gossip writer while the hard news journo wearing the hard hat is bowed down to.

Creatives. They’re a difficult bunch (oops, I made an assumption) and a bunch who I have the most respect for in the world today. In any situation, it’s easier to talk to Creatives about politics and the world around us than anybody else. Maybe because I see myself as one. While society is slowly patting Creatives on the shoulder, there will always be a slight critique of their life choice.

This in mind, I always think my grandparents might love my future husband to be a doctor instead of a freelance photographer. Time to convince them. Creatives live a hard life, so give us a thumbs up! Its not for everyone.


Don’t worry, be happy.

Bob Marley might not have worried and maybe he was happy. He seemed that way cause he sang that way.


It seems simple enough, doesn’t it? The advice we give others we so rarely adapt ourselves. We all seem perplexed with anxiety and worry and its usually about things that are beyond our control. And there’s a pessimism about Life, too – that things will go wrong, that what’s-his-face might not like you or that bad things will happen. We over-think things and create these imperfect scenarios of disaster instead of just sitting back and watching what transpires – whether bright and shiny or disastrous. In the mindset of worrying, we lose the time to really live, though. There’s an intentional hope that things will work out in the future instead of living our present to make our future work. Maybe it will, maybe it won’t. That’s just what we humans must live through instead of thinking the implausible.

I know, I’m confused, too.

There are many times before a night out that I worry what I’ll feel like in the morning. But that’s a youthful, naive, fun kind of worry that is so often overlooked. In other times, we worry about what will happen tomorrow, worry about friends who aren’t there, worry about the pay cheque that’s not guaranteed or worried that we’ll die alone and build forts with our troop of cats.

Is it called a troop of cats?

Anyway, it’s a human condition we should get rid of before we can actually enjoy the unpredictability of Life. We will always worry about what others think. We will always worry about our health, what will happen if we don’t do this and that. Sometimes things will just fall into place like they’re supposed to and maybe it’s alright to worry about what people think – only if those people are people who believe you can live up to more; people who believe that you have the potential for so much more and that worrying is getting in the way of that. The other people? You don’t need to occupy your mind with them. They have their worries and they will judge to gather some sort of happiness in themselves. We are suckers for disaster in our lives. Everyone directs scenes in their heads about the worst things happening. What if. What if. What if.

Happiness is a complete state of mind – so is Worry, so is Destruction. If our immaculate scenes do play out like we envision, your path might make it like that. If you smile, the body responds, doesn’t it? Even if we force a smile, the rest of the body stands up and the smile becomes more of a natural occurrence. We can trick ourselves into not worrying and staying positive. The roller coaster has a destination and journey that we can either enjoy or fear for vomiting all over ourselves. It’s up to you.


To be Kind

There’s this thing I carry around with me. Some people think it denotes you to being a scrummy, over-used doormat while others redeem it other-worldly. Mostly, because today it’s a rarity that belongs in TCM flicks and old ladies who bake cookies for strangers. It’s thought to live in ‘do-gooders’ who are just doing the right thing to get a pat on the back in front of their world stage or get into heaven. Why do good, right?


kindness1It should be a simple human condition but it’s not. When I talk to the car guard, give him some change and wave at him, he seems somewhat perplexed at the gesture. Onlookers might, too. That’s what we’ve come to. “Don’t talk to the car washer” “Don’t chat to the teller” “Why are you so nice?” Some might not know it, but an uncomplicated “How are you?” or smile costs nothing. People learn this in nursery school and plant it in the back of their minds and grow up and reserve a good natured-ness because quite frankly it’s not normal. Some even think it’s a chink in someone’s armour. You’re too soft, they say. But Kindness in itself is both an undertaking and painless deed. Some are so allergic to the idea of being kind that they will set their eyes on the road and walk past a stranger for fear of some awkward confrontation. And the teller at the supermarket is probably having an average day – why not ask her how she is. It’s because us humans are aloof to what others feel. Sometimes a trouble-free compliment feels like its wrapped up tightly in a self-conscious nod and the receiver feels like it’s necessary to be nice back. It’s us humans. We can give something without some sort of expectation, right? Perhaps Kindness in itself is an egotistical avenue – it makes you feel good. And if you are kind, jumpstart someone’s car or pay for someone’s dinner, there’s always an expectation of a ‘thank you’ isn’t there? I know I feel a little hard done by if the person doesn’t acknowledge my help. But we should slowly do away with that thinking. Sometimes we have a subconscious list of people we’ve been nice to, who owes US something. No one owes you anything. You owe everything to yourself to be the best person you can be and give of your character without the round of applause. It’s a difficult thing Kindness. It’s definitely not a trembling weakness. It’s something in the heart that gives so easily. It’s something in the heart that will not still if you walk past someone without saying words to still their troubles.


And Kindness is not the great Oscar-winning endeavour. It’s something great you don’t have to boast about. I’m also not kind to get something out of you. This ulterior motive condition is normal because kindness is extraterrestrial, weird and funny.


I’m kind because everyone has their own battles to fight. A word doesn’t harm them.