There is a stink of Kurt Darren outside Loftus’ beloved walls. The sizzling boerewors en tjops. Lynwood Road traps four schools in proud blazers as the purple pavements stand proud and steady. O, Liefling! Union.
There is a lady that wears a leopard. Proud, too. Her eyes hidden behind Italian shades. A pendulum that sways with the equal distribution of boutique bags. Reptiles that hold Madibas in their bottomless jaws. Bottomless mocha-frotho-latte contraptions.
Skinny jeans between okes with sharp khaki. Manicured politician gardens and Jaguars that dodge fevered taxis with the hoot-hoot ego that comes with the ‘GP’ design. A slow grapple on tar towards the neighbours forty clicks away. A promise of the N1 chaos and turnoffs that host skeletal boys who point to their mouths with promising eyes. A minute away, Waterkloof’s gates hold their heads high.
Houghton – said with an accent that needs practice.
Sandton –said with an accent that needs a stiff upper lip.
There is choreography of models that sweat.
If your pecks ain’t big enough, get out bru.
If you don’t play rugby, get out.
There’s an art class for you.
If you don’t sokkie, if you don’t braai
Then the Capital will skop you out
School bag over the shoulders, barefoot break-time
And the Rolex is pulled back, glanced over
The train silent in its approach
The business deals between business deals
and the media that cracks the stories
of Africa’s mighty Big Apple
the high-rise secrets
Big City Life
As jy mooi luister, kan jy dit hoor
Hatfield se studente wat stumble
soos masjiene wat drink nodig het
Oiling of the cog
Arcade se rockers
Presley’s se Jackie Louw
and the zooted rims
that need a little shine
The South rises
and there is hurry of fists
dancing to the rhythm of summer
Arcade Empire,Pretoria’s colossal live gig hang-out, is back and better than ever with its grand re-opening on 20 July. It’s bigger and better. Mastered with cool kids, local bands making great music and DJ’s dropping bass, The Empire is sure to bring about a new age in Pretoria’s rather subdued night life. For me, it’s a favourite. Hatfield can keep its drunken high-schoolers and okes and Centurion can keep its zef. While Jozi boasts Gauteng’s grand spots, Arcade is the coolest. Also, we don’t have Avastar (cue vomit). Arcade’s new venue will be kicking and will definitely attract more with the always impressive weekend line-ups, pizza and drink specials. The atmosphere is either laid-back or insane.
20 July, Grand Re-opening featuring Wrestlerish (local boys and Arcade regulars), Taxi Violence, Isochronous, Van Coke Kartel and Moejoe vs Minx.
Entrance is FREE.
New digs: 265 The Highway Street, Equestria, Pretoria East (-25.767651, 28.326498)
These are some of the tracks from each artist that I love to see live:
Arcade Empire, Pretoria’s best live gig hangout, is moving to a bigger and better venue come July and will be closing on a massive high with Desmond and The Tutus celebrating the launch of their brand-spanking-new album “MNUSIC” on Saturday 30 June. Desmond has been a favourite of mine for some time.
Their tunes are vibey, energetic, humourous and catchy. They are still my band to beat when it comes to live performances and they breathe an easy-going presence while a lot of other bands reek of arrogance in their walk up to fame. For them, its about having a good time, making great songs and giving audiences performances they’ll always remember.
If you are a Desmond ‘Live’ virgin, I feel for you. There is nothing more fantastical then singing the old favourites, cracking The German Modern and dancing like you’ve had Red Bull zapped into your wrist. They bring fun back into rock. Just visit their website (www.desmondandthetutus.co.za) and you’ll get a laugh out of their ‘penis enlargment-sangoma-type’ pages. On their Facebook page, their profile picture pokes a little fun at another South African band (see below)
Take a listen to their stuff and be AMA-zinged and check them out live if you have the chance. You won’t regret it:
Some older hits:
The lightning flash
Sunnyside without the sun
Sky buildings below
Women sell their legs
To those before us
The boy on Atterbury shaking in shorts
The student who pops
Die manne wat rugby kyk
Loftus se blou blou hart
The dancefloor’s illegal
As they swing around
swig the cane train
Across the road, robots swap
Police on the trail
Burnett is burnt
In high-rise cheques
And morning regrets
Shudder on the railway tracks
Set in the dingy
The president’s place
With men who have no faces
Guns and get out
The helicopter garage
The parks rich in green
Tanned in June’s rime
The statues that tell of beginnings
The little blazers
of four-squared schools that march
the derby days
the chugging buses
The malls glitz
The Kolannade’s swift
Cars with lights, wheels with stones
The Sunday flea market bargains
The sinners who collect Friday nights
Afrikaans se plek
The rock, the smoking rock
The dance of the night
N1 buzzing through hell
Adverts that sell you
Die FM wat kook
Streets we name by their old names
The zoo’s circling happiness
A zoom zoom with the train
Square is juvenile
Tiger Tiger roars
Ty’s cries with heels
Arcadebounces off rocksters
Brooklyn’s coffee and cake
Aandklas’ se ou Queen en Marley hits
Duncan’s high eats
The gardens sparkle
The ponds with the nannies
The putt-putt caves
In the capitol’s rays